I am completely convinced he suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Abandonment, Co-Dependency, Sexual Addiction, and he is a Predator.
He confessed that he slept with an old friend before we were married. Slept twice with her and the only reason he didn't sleep more times was because she had come to the city to visit family and her vacation time was up. He confessed he seeks out women to stroke his ego; he looks for cybersex from friends and strangers; has no respect for women but sees them as objects. Well, he didn't exactly say all that but those are the conclusions I derived at. And he has been doing this since the beginning of our relationship. I don't know the man I married.
I told him I wanted things settled by July 1, by settled I guess I mean I want him out of the house, the marital assets disbursed and basically waiting for divorce papers to be served. I think I have a chance at annulment through the Church because of his indiscretion before marriage. I can argue I took the Holy Sacrament of Matrimony under false pretenses, and I feel more at ease about it.
He says he wants to change, and I really want him to. I want him to be the man that I thought he was, marry a nice girl, be faithful to her, and have a family. I truly want this for him. I told him I would be here to help him out in whatever he needs to mature and gain some kind of moral compass. I know his family does not offer the support and comfort he needs. His mother is a stoic, distant, egotistical person, his brothers are self-absorbed, and his sister is a loof. I will be his support if he needs it but I can't go on like this. In all honesty, I think I don't love him at all anymore, and I am so glad about it. I still care very much for him; I sympathize with him. I don't think that will change.
I got in contact with a lawyer; I asked him about our house since it has negative equity. I wasn't sure how that would be resolved. I'm hoping for a very painless divorce and annulment procedures. I already downloaded the annulment requirements and I will take a closer look today at the requirements.
I am actually looking forward to being single. I want to start portuguese classes and yoga; things that I never really pursued because it would have interfered with our quality time. I am also starting to research the possibility of adoption. This is something I always wanted and I think by the time I have saved enough for it, I will be financially and emotionally prepared to be a single parent. If not, then I have ample time to change my mind since I don't expect to be anywhere near adopting in the next five years. But it's something to look forward to.
I thank God that I am incredibly calm through all this. I have asked for nothing but strength and guidance. I ask the same for my stbxh.